Monday, February 14, 2011

just believe.

BFFs at Radhika's Surprise Bday

Me & the Bday Gal

Me and Bee Eff before he got in troubs

BFFs at Fashion Island

This weekend was uber tiring. Lots of fun, good times with friends, but I need a vacay now! I passed IDIT with flying colors, fortunately, but I BARELY passed my last competency exam. I don't know what it is, but I get so panicky and nervous when it comes to competencies. In clinic, I do just fine and skate along with all the exercises. Maybe it is because I often feel lost in clinic, the initial instruction is minimal and I often find myself just making up what I have to do until I get my first piece of criticism. I understand this teaching technique, it is called throw them into the fire. However, it makes me nervous and unsure of myself. Plus I am the kind of person who doesn't like messing up, so if my prep or restoration sucks, I find it hard to show the faculty to get the constructive feedback I need to fix it. Is that weird? Well I still do it, but everything about being in clinic makes me nervous, which is why I think I dread the days we are in there. Lots of waiting around, noise, and I don't drink water for four hours which is never a good thing. It's like all of the balance I work so hard to achieve gets thrown off track!

Anyways, lately I have not been doing much service, there have not been that many opportunities. But now that I am the new ASDA secretary and Health Fair Coordinator... I guess that will keep me on my toes. I am also running for Executive SGA VP- and while I hope I get it, it makes me nervous too. Don't you think it is so funny how as you get older you fear more and more things? Sometimes I look back on my life and wonder where I got the courage to do certain things, like travel to Japan for six weeks on my own. But I still feel like that was one of the best experiences of my life. And one that actually remains vivid in my mind!

Back to this weekend- it was a lot of fun spending time with my friends basically all weekend. It makes me wonder how much I miss out on when they're doing things without me because of school. But I know I cannot have it all, and trust me I am so so grateful for everything that I have and for being in dental school and doing well. We lost four of our fellow students last week, it is so sad but drives the point home that I definitely need to keep working hard, and believing in myself and in the fact that I am were I am supposed to be.

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